Give him points for trying, but you don’t want to be with someone who isn’t able to connect with you on an emotional level.
He thinks that your “I’m waiting till marriage” stance is just a phase, or something you have said to play hard to get — nothing his charm and personality can’t alter. He can be tricky to deal with and will hide his motives very well.
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You’re not just a body that can be used for his entertainment and pleasure. You’re a human being who deserves the time and effort to be spoken to and loved for who you are — he is the one who will be missing out on the opportunity to be with someone a lot more special than most others. He’ll run away and find lots of casual sex partners of varying quality, and then one day, when he’s older, he will start craving emotional connection.
Mallory Ortberg, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers. (Sign up below to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. I felt like I needed to make it work because he gave me herpes, which made me feel like damaged goods.
: I just ended a relationship that I stayed in far too long.
But that deeper side of him will be so under-developed that he’ll stumble awkwardly through relationships and marriage.
When you meet him again ten years from now, you will be very glad he did you the favour of running away. He is scared of the prospect of being with someone who is going to withhold sex.
For instance, he will tell you everything you want to hear, such things as, “I have even considered it myself” and “I think it is a wonderful idea.” The thing is, it isn’t just an idea that suddenly came to you in a dream.