There is (hopefully) a desire to see the other person again, to be bonded, and to deepen that bonding.Hence the desire to go on holiday together, do more things together, spend more time in each other’s company (which also prevents someone else sneaking in). Just like the quest for dopamine, there would be a desire to get another oxytocin hit, a friendly hug perhaps, or more.Dopamine is one of the most fundamental neurotransmitters we have. The expectation of dopamine drives our mind to control our body to do things.We think you wanted a coffee to perk yourself up, but in fact it was a dopamine cycle that kicked in to make your body get up and find a coffee to sate the dopamine expectation. Serotonin is serenity, ecstasy and the state of grace. Oxytocin is the bonding agent, the cuddle chemical.At worst, lifting the veil of oxytocin gives one person in the couple, if not both, the opportunity to see the person in a new, more rational light.That often ends in a break up, or a much more argumentative relationship with few benefits.Moreover, the recollection of this chemical experience will be encoded into our memories so that if we dig back in our minds to experiences past, we can regain at least a part of the actual feeling experienced at the time.
You might not be totally happy with the conclusions, but that is for you to make your own mind up.
If you think about it, this is a handy survival mechanism.
In ancient times, you can imagine your first true love, a hunter of saber tooth tigers, lying dead in a ditch, or your wife dying in childbirth.
This would happen anyway as habit builds up in our neuro-systems, so things become less novel, and practical couple issues become more prominent (such as “who is going to take the kids into school tomorrow”).
Therefore as oxytocin builds up, sex is just not as fun any more.
Life without a partner can be significantly more stressful than life with one.