Internet dating site murderer meme

Item Description: A squirrel which constantly moved much slower than normal, even when jumping or falling, similar to "slow-motion" video footage.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: ███████ Family Campgrounds, ███████ Current Status: In animal containment.

Item Description: A series of pornographic VHS tapes that, when rewound, would continually change actors, sets, and methods of coitus.

All appear to relate to actual filmed movies, though the quality is low.

Item Description: A 76-centimeter-tall statue of a clown.

Item Description: Glass paperweight which constantly floats exactly seven (7) centimeters above any given surface. Item Description: A drinking glass that visually appears to be able to hold a pint (568 ml) of fluid, but overflows when more than 35 ml is poured into it.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: ██████ Funeral Home in █████████, ██ Current Status: Shattered in bizarre acapella accident. Date of Recovery: ██-██-1998 Location of Recovery: ████████, Illinois Current Status: In storage.

Foreword: The SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention.

This document lists those items which have prompted some curiosity.

At random intervals, the snow globe will contain a small shed, car, or truck, which reacts to the explosion.

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