Addiction takes priority over everything – you, children, career, financial security, even one’s own freedom.Before diving into a relationship, find out if your prospective partner is actively using drugs or alcohol, or if they display addictive or compulsive patterns in other areas (e.g., gambling, work, sex, food or spending).Beyond the first year, the longer someone has maintained their sobriety the more secure you can feel that you’re choosing a partner who is healthy and whole.An estimated 40 to 60 percent of addicts relapse, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse.At the end of the day, I find that some of the best romantic relationships are some of the least codependent.
Even worse, would you start to feel resentful that you have to make this sacrifice?
He has had extensive training in conducting couples therapy and is the author of Dr.
In working with the spouses and significant others of addicts, I’ve often heard it said, “I’d rather be an addict than love one.” While few people would ever walk eyes-wide-open into a chronic disease like addiction, the statement speaks to the confusion, loneliness and despair common not only among addicts but also the men and women who love them. In fact, addicts who are solid in their recovery can make excellent partners.
The answer, in short, depends on how central a role alcohol plays in your life. Leaf through a glossy magazine, and you’ll likely come across at least a few advertisements for glamorous wine festivals or beer-lover events.
Because I live in California, which is home to endless vineyards, wine is all the rage, and it’s common for those who can afford it to head to a weekend in Napa Valley or a local vineyard for a little R&R.
Sure, drinking may be a part of your social life, but are you sure that it’s worth giving up the chance of a trusted relationship because you can’t share a pitcher of margaritas together?