Dating and a man needs space

As I sat with my closest girlfriends on our routine girls’ night out (GNO) one Saturday evening, the suspense at the table didn’t go unnoticed.

Prior to our meeting, I had mentioned that I had some news to share.

I have learnt through maturity and life’s little lessons, that limiting yourself or options because of the checklist of the perfect man or ideal relationship you have etched in your mind doesn’t actually prove to be realistic. Yes the other woman; the ex who will always be present in both of your lives. Will your plans get rescheduled at the last minute, because something came up with the child or because of a situation with the other parent? Can your significant other manage any possible drama? And let’s be real, what about feeling secure about your relationship when you see him with her and their child, looking like a happy family unit? Still, it was a great relief to have taken that step. another thing with dating someone who has a child is this…

But while it isn’t the ideal situation for some women, is dating a guy with a child really all that bad? It very well depends on the man, and how serious he is about getting into a committed relationship. When my guy mentioned that he had a child, I admit that the fear factor did set in. Having to deal with the ‘chile mudda’ may not be one’s cup of tea, but this is one of the things you may have to do while you’re dating your guy. something even more special is added to the relationship, as the guy would have to trust you to take such a big step in introducing you to his prized possession, and it’s often a good sign that he takes you seriously.

She is learning to not take life too seriously and plan so much. We religiously publish original content every Monday.

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Alas, I admit, those were my exact words, but those words were also spoken by a much younger and not so much wiser version of myself. Obviously, there are several issues to deal with when someone has a child. Do you think you’ll get jealous when you have to share him, and can’t throw a tantrum because you’ll ‘look bad’ for being jealous of a child? trying to pacify the mother so his relationship with his child isn’t affected, and keeping his ‘woman’ comfortable.He is absolutely in love with his child, and that makes him even more attractive to me. While we look for stability in relationships, dating someone who has a child shouldn’t pose a threat.Seeing a man love and care for his child genuinely is a beautiful thing. It’s all about building that relationship on the basics, as you would any other, with love, trust, understanding, and commitment, among other things.Jolisa Brewster is a south girl, who is still adapting to her adopted town life.She loves to talk as much as much as she loves to write, and is currently pursuing a degree in media and communications. When she isn't talking her family to death, you can find her eating her way around Trinidad and writing about it. is a Caribbean, online, weekly, lifestyle magazine that is written for, by, and about Caribbean people in their 20s to mid 40s, based regionally and abroad.In my case, we haven’t really had any tension thus far. there are many people out there who have a child with their ex. Coming to terms with it depends on what the single (and childless) individual is willing to accept, all in the name of love and finding ‘the one’. something even more special is added to the relationship, as the guy would have to trust you to take such a big step in introducing you to his prized possession, and it’s often a good sign that he takes you seriously.

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