Serosorting is really never okay — you shouldn’t refuse anyone for their HIV status, regardless if it’s positive or negative — but the reality of HIV care produces a very different picture of an HIV-positive person than the risky, contagious, diseased person you may have envisioned. There are incredible athletes and gym rats with HIV. Not everyone is good at sex — in fact most people aren’t.
If he takes his meds successfully, he’ll be undetectable. And he’ll be living with HIV — not a predator, not a sex fiend, just someone who had a fun night.
Other problems are at play that keep this information from being shouted from the rooftops.
Sex education for youth is inadequate in the United States, and info specific to young queer people is nonexistent in most high schools.
As a preventative, it’s a powerful option for serodiscordant couples (one positive, one negative) and negative guys who enjoy barrier-free (condomless) sex.
Pr EP evens the playing field between poz and neg guys and eliminates the fear that has existed between us for so long — a fear that’s muddied our sex lives and ruined our relationships. There are many gay men who are aware of their HIV-positive status and are not on medication.
It’s hard to even call it a “mistake,” since it’s one every sexually active person makes at some point.